


To the sky

by Solrey



Series: Treasure13 [6]
Category: MAGNUM (Korea Band), TREASURE (Korea Band), YG Entertainment | YG Family, YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Disease, Incurable, M/M, Pain, Photography, Sadness, Stars, Suffering, loss of a love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 15:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19930660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solrey/pseuds/Solrey
Summary: Every time I see our picture, I'm reminded of the fact that you are my universe, the star that shows me the way when I'm hopelessly lost. Just that there is no 'us' anymore.





	To the sky

**Author's Note:**

> A short one-shot for mashikyu.
> 
> Crossposted on Twitter @SolreyItIs

_Every time I see our picture, I'm reminded of the fact that you are my universe, the star that shows me the way when I'm hopelessly lost. Just that there is no 'us' anymore._

The stars above his head where glistening in the dark night sky, dancing a beautiful dance with the moon, while the breeze was fresh yet felt warm and welcoming, soothing him. It was one of these nights where he felt lonely and empty, however, as soon as he looked up, he felt at home, his favourite star shining so bright down on him. This was the only place he would ever feel at peace with himself and the universe. The only place where every memory was written down in everything that surrounded him. A place he would visit until the day he dies. 

Even though this place was his safe place, his home where he could return to, he felt an awful stab in the place where his heart should have been. His heart, ripped out of its cage so long ago, he sometimes forgets when it exactly happened, the pain rushing to the once so lively place. Let alone at the thought about that day months ago, he wanted to vanish, disappear, finally stopping all the pain. There was not a single day where the haunting image of that day wasn't playing in his mind, reminding him over and over again what happened, what he had lost. He wanted nothing more than to finally forget, giving up what once was the best thing in his life. Finally letting go on what chained him down, took his breath away but there was no way of escaping, his mind running along an endless circle. 

But he couldn't, he had yet a promise to fulfil and he would keep it. The promise they had sealed with their pinkies, laughing childishly and immature at themselves before leaning in, sealing it with another seal. 

_“Kyu, promise me?”_

The younger had asked him, his voice so unbelievable quiet, it ripped his heart open. He just wanted to take the younger and hug him, sooth his pain, showing him how much he meant to him but he couldn't, not in the extends he wanted to. 

As childish as it sounds, he had taken the younger's pinkie and intertwined with his own, sealing their promise with their thumbs. He felt the younger’s warm hand against his and he couldn’t imagine how it would be without this warmth, the feeling of having him close.

_“I promise you, Mashi.”_

His voice had been so full of warmth, love for the boy in front of him that they had started to laugh together, escaping the sad reality just for a moment. It was their moment, everything around them just a mere background sound, not more than a static sound. He had used his free hand to caress the younger's cheek and leaned it, their lips meeting and for a moment, he was happy. It had been the only lips he had ever tasted but he knew for sure, none would be like his, this addicting and kiss able.   
His hand began to shake at the memory, his hand gripping the camera strongly. He could never let go of it. All the memories he had made with the younger, captured in one single camera because that's all what's left. A single memory card and his own memory, which will grow old and forgetful someday. He doesn't want to forget; forget him, forget them. How had this happened? Why had it happened to them?

_“Kyu?”_

It had been a few minutes after midnight, new year's eve was in full celebration and he too was celebrating the new year when a voice tore him out of his celebration. He turned around, ready to engulf the younger in a hug when he stopped, noticing immediately that something was wrong. He was smiling at him but the smile didn't reach his eyes, his arms loosely hanging by his side. Once more he tried to hug the smaller, help him with whatever had made him sad but he was blocked, the younger just shaking his head. 

_“Don't.”_

It had only been a whisper, so quiet the fireworks almost drowned it but he heard it, picked it up above all the other sounds. How could he not when the younger’s voice had been everything he had listened to the last months. 

_“Why?”_

_“We need to talk.”_

Something dropped inside of him, one of his biggest fears welling up inside of him again. Would the younger leave him? Had he finally enough from his antics and weirdness? Frankly, he searched for something in the other's eyes but all he could see was sadness and guilt. So clearly broken.

_“Kyu-”_

_“Are you breaking up with me?”_

It was a hard question; a question he had never wanted to ask because he knew it would tear him apart. The truth would break him. 

_“I do.”_

He had expected it but the stab was so much more hurtful, much more forceful. It felt like his heart laid there on plate, raw and naked for everyone to see. And even though this answer alone broke his heart, he couldn't be mad. This was the man he loved, promised his life to, not a single cell in his body could hate him. Rather than anger something else flooded his mind; what was the reason? 

_  
“Why?”_

His voice was small, just a tiny fragment of his usually loud voice, their eyes locked in each other. He saw how the younger ringed with the words, his eyes becoming glassy and wet. Deep in his heart, his love told him to walk to him and hug him, ask him what was wrong but he stopped. 

_“I- I-”_ It was a try but the younger’s voice broke before he could even form a sentence, thick tears streaming down his face, his breathing becoming irregular. Throwing his doubt out of the window he came closer, holding the younger close to his heart and he felt how arms wrapped around him immediately. 

_“I- I'm going to die, kyu. I'm going to die!”_

At his words disbelieve welled up inside of him, detaching the younger from him so he could hold the other's cheeks, taking in the tear stained face and his heart broke once again. This man, the man he loved, wouldn't lie to him, so it must be the truth. But how could he die? What was the reason the younger would leave him? There was no way he would let that happen. His heart beat increased and the exploding fireworks only intensified the whole scenario. Without thinking twice, he pulled the younger yet again into his chest, feeling how tears stained his shirt but he couldn't care less. His baby was devastated, eaten alive by the fear he called dying. His love was dying.

That had been memory from a year ago, the sound from the younger's voice still so very vivid in his ears, his mind, haunting him. He felt how his knees got weak and he fell, hitting the ground without much force but he felt so drained from energy, he couldn't stand up again. In his mind played once again the diagnosis his love had told him: heart defect. His love would die to a heart defect that was inoperable, only a donated heart would safe him but he was so low on the waiting list, he had given up all hopes. 

The younger had never been the one to give up so easily, to throw away a hope that still was in reach but this time, he had accepted his fate. 'I don't want to drag you down with me! You will only suffer when you stay at my side!' The younger had repeated this words like a mantra, trying to scare him off but he stayed where he was, at the side of the man that soon wouldn't be anymore. The only place he belonged to. 

Tears welled up at memory of the last weeks he had spent with the younger, the moment he had decided to buy a camera and capture their time with it, calling it lovely the time capsule. This camera was their connection to each other, their inseparable bound that would outlive the two, still existing when both were gone. He wasn’t able to look at the photos, at the precious time he would never get back, no matter how hard he tried. The other person on the photos long gone. His gaze was back at the sky, smiling bitterly at the things so beautiful, wishing that he could touch them. 

_“K-kyu?”_

A weak voice had called for him, he immediately sat up and took the younger’s hand, feeling the weak hand in his. His love looked so exhausted, energy drained it tore him apart, wishing he could give some of his own. 

_“Yes?”_

He caressed the younger’s hand, forming small infinite signs on the back of the hand while he watched the younger smile, a weak smile. His heart was beating faster than normal, knowing that everything he says, does, could be the last. The last for the both of them.

_“Re- “_ He coughed, his eyes watering a little, _“Remember that night, the new year where we had confessed our love?”_

_“How could I forget? You looked so beautiful that day, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”_

_“You were supposed to watch the stars with me, not me watching the stars while you watch me.”_

He laughed, remembering the time the younger had cached him staring. Embarrassing but worth all the trouble, their feelings finally revealed that night. 

_“But I watched a star. You are my star Mashiho, you and nobody else.”_

_“I- I see.”_ The younger replied weak, slowly holding onto his hand. _“Promise me something?”_

_“Anything.”_

Now he was here, watching the stars while his emotions overrun him once more, his heart aching so unbelievable hard. With gritted teeth he tried to smile, watching the first firework explode of the night. His voice raw from the pain, was directed to the sky.

“I’m here baby, watching you.”


End file.
